F*ck Shame

FUCK SHAME: Shame is a powerful tool that can be weaponized to make you conform to social absurdities. Not always, but to what degree does it influence you?

A map to free your mind from a toxic emotion that seems creepily inescapable today….

Introduction to Some Consequences:


Okay, I know that sounds a little extreme, but allow me to explain. In the following sections some of the areas of your life it affects are explored. And no, especially to all you people who are professionally outraged, this isn't a fucking green light to be a total maniac, it's an examination of a serious problem. Fuck shame, and here’s why.

Some of Shame's Classic Effects:

1. Not Having Sex. Free and open sex. This is a no brainer for most people, but it still happens because shame is such a powerful force. Apart from early prostate cancer/no multiple orgasms via human touch, your friends (if you have any left) mocking you, and ending up repressed and banging strangers in a nightclub bathroom at the age of 35, what could go wrong?

2. Never Pursuing your Dreams. Yeah, some people might tell you that you’ll end up a loser, but which one is better; Being happy with a fulfilling self actualized life full of experiences and wisdom, or a rich corporate cutout miserable douche bag. You know who is going to tell you you will be a ‘loser’? Shitty parents, people who never had the balls to pursue anything, and general douche bag idiots. Advertising will tell you this. Society might tell you this. Shame is a powerful tool that can be weaponized to make you conform to social absurdities.

3. Confidence. (See not getting laid for this one, along with being socially awkward) Basically achieving anything worth anything takes a level of confidence which enriches your life exponentially.

4. Social Intelligence. Apart from having quality friends and kicking ass at your work, how could this be a problem? Especially in increasingly disconnected times when people are lonelier than ever staring at this screen, making new friends and having new powerful experiences requires making mistakes, which often leads to a crippling level of shame for people.

5. Time. The asset. How much time do you end up thinking about what you’ll never be or be able to do because of shame induced fear? Seriously, how important is time? If rich people could buy it, it would be the most expensive commodity ever. Even more than Google’s stock price or 75k diamonds (ironically it’s time that makes those valuable, and a social scam possibly).


6. Assholes. Why do people say ‘he/she should be shamed’ or the classic expression 'slut'. There is an appropriate time for shaming someone, but it is not to be taken lightly. For thousands of years it was a death sentence, or warning that one will occur (after something seriously fucked up just happened because of you.)

7. Legal/Non-Legal Drugs. The number of people on pills today is astounding, and the chances are we all know someone struggling with that. Your friend who is on 15 different anti depressants and and anti-anxiety medications to the point where they resemble someone turning in to Gollum from Lord of the Rings, society's reaction is to 'shame' them, and then they end up overdosing.

8. Self-worth. A huge one, because this can prevent you from living your life in a manner that is nowhere near your potential. Let's say you realize this and become sad, and then say you get a DUI after your birthday party when you're 20, and the state imposed shit head psychologists afterwords tell you that you must be an alcoholic so you become one. (As if they never drank too much). Then, your family shames you and you become a complete loser in your mind, get a dead end job to escape the pain, and you end up actually becoming a loser in life because of that unwarranted excess shame. What happened to the concept that people are human beings that can only learn from making mistakes. (Unless they don’t, which can make them assholes who are upset way too much and too often.)

9. Poor sexual performance and a lack of honesty in bed. Do I even have to write any more here? If you are could at sex, girl or guy, you will have a value and level of power over women/men that will allow you to convince them to do unimaginable things just to be around you. Hell, they might even quit their job and hang around you like a dog in heat. (Not saying that’s where you should take it necessarily)

10. Self-Improvement. People shaming you for striving, saying that perhaps you think you're better them. AKA, Stopping you from getting your shit together. What could go wrong?

11. Academic performance. This goes back to self worth. If you are losing your hair because of a few bad grades, because your parents expect you to be perfect and be accepted to the perfect school etc. you are headed down a dark path for absolute crisis where to you don’t even know who you are when you’re 40. Steve Jobs didn’t finish school, and didn’t listen to haters and now your reading this on a computer he probably designed.

12. Repression, for a Long time. Ever wonder why Catholic priests became so creepy? Or Catholic girls suddenly move to LA and end up working in porn for little to know money? Social shame at Catholic school is a big one. I went to one, and the crazy risky things my classmates ended up doing because they were full of shame is one hell of a long list worthy of cringe that no one wants for anyone.

13. Bad Decisions. I once knew a girl in high school that fucked the whole football team in high school. Needless to say, she had a fair degree of shame already which is probably why she did that, but after everyone at school found out, well. The last time I say her she looked strung out walking around with a dozen guys that looked like pack predators.

14. Not expressing your Feelings for fear of rejection/shame. If you find yourself at work and someone just starts beating the shit out of a colleague because they were handed the wrong stapler, shame could be a factor. Or they could a psychopath on steroids thirsty for power. But more likely the first one, and

15. Suicide and School Shootings. This one is so serious, people are killing themselves because of what a group of douche bags said about them on Facebook/Online. Digital shame, which can put the fear of Pablo Escobar in to most people, and easily cost them. This goes back to shame becoming a weapon to create more pain. Maybe it’s their family more than upset that they’re gay or have a ‘shitty job’ and ’no worth’ that provokes this. This leads to so many social terrors and epidemics of depression, anxiety, and self-medication.

16. What Does All This Mean? I know all this can sound more than a bit redundant, but that’s a big part of the point. This is because the ultimate price you can pay for allowing shame in your life is just that, your life. It’s going to end eventually, and last time I checked you only have one and the clock is ticking.


Next, some related issues: Cheating and Divorce. Drugs. AA, NA, etc. Sports and confidence and guilt. Priests. Exclusion. Nudity shame, Nude Beaches being taboo for what?, Social/Religious/Heads Rolling in Religion, Prostitution. Power structures. Shame and Power, Weaponized shame, a Digital shame age, Truth and Shame, Why did shame really come to exist?, What is it good for now? The Church, Narcissism, SJW’s!, Stand up Comedy and Shame escape, Privacy and Shame, Asia, Africa, Islam, and hardcore shame, Generational shame, Communism, The fucking Puritans. Being Afraid to be who you truly are and being okay with that. The list goes on longer than a Lord of the Rings trilogy. We have had this for thousands of years.

So, a lot more to come on all this next....What are some solutions?


andrew nottoliComment